Another dream

I had a really amazing dream just before I woke up this morning.  It was about the most angelic little girl with curly blonde hair, she was about 4 years old.  As soon as I saw her across a field I suddenly knew everything about her, as if I had just watched a story on the news about her life.  She had no parents and she had been very ill so was being cared for by a foster family.  I didn't care how sick she might have been, I just knew that I wanted her to be my daughter.

She looked across the field and saw me and her face lit up.  In front of me was a stone wall and the grass was level with the top of the wall, so when she reached me we were almost at eye level.  We took each other's hands and just smiled and laughed, her face was pure joy, my heart almost bursting with the love I felt for her.

I just wanted to scoop her up and hold her in my arms forever, she was just so beautiful.  She wouldn't stop smiling at me, it was as if she had known me her whole life.  I was on the verge of sobbing with joy, I tried so hard to hold back the tears, knowing that I had found my daughter but unable to just take her home without doing all the adoption applications first.

When I woke from the dream I felt so happy but then I realised it wasn't real and my joy came crashing down.  I haven't been able to stop thinking about the dream all day.  These dreams make me wonder:  is this a message from her, telling me to have faith and that she is coming for me?  Just about every time I have a dream about a child that is mine it is always a girl with blonde hair.  Each time I dream about her, she is a little bit older.

I wish I could know what these dreams represent, I'd like to believe that she is my future daughter but I am too scared in case it doesn't come true.  These dreams are always so lovely to have but when I wake up they make me feel so sad that they aren't real.