The last couple of days have been... not great but not bad either.
I have become acutely aware today that my former friend is now about 17-18 weeks pregnant and she's probably starting to show a bit.
It's really hard knowing that she is almost 1/2 way already. Time has just flown since I found out 10 weeks ago and it hurts like hell to realise that she is able to experience things that I haven't been able to (and may never).
I'm trying to find a good place and feel some genuine kind of happiness for her. Why is it that all I can feel is this sense of smugness that she is pregnant and I'm not?
Obviously I need to tap on these feelings and try to bring my emotions up the scale so I start feeling better about myself again.
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