The birth of my former BFF's baby is going to happen anyday now.
She's having a girl.
I am so filled with dread and sorrow.
Can't believe that she got her BFP so quickly, just 6 weeks after her wedding.
I've been married more than 5.5 years and still no baby.
It hurts.
HURTS.
Cuts like a knife.
Why does she get a baby so soon and I have to go through so much pain and sorrow?
Where did I go wrong?
What did I do to be punished this way?
All I want is to be a mother and to share the journey of parenthood with my husband.
Is that too much to ask?
I feel that pain too. It is hard to see others have what we want, and especially when they are not even having to work very hard to get it. The only thing that makes it even remotely easier is to practice not taking it personally. By this I mean, the fact that she is about to have a baby and you are still waiting- it's not personal. It isn't directed at you, it just IS. I know it is impossible to spend all your time in that frame of mind, but the more time you can spend there, the more peace you will feel.
ReplyDeleteRight now though, with birth imminent, that kind of trigger sucks you right back in, I know and understand. And I feel your pain. xx